Wednesday, 8 August 2018

Nu-Who Seasons Ranked

With ten series of the relaunched Doctor Who under the programme’s belt, it feels like time for yet another Top Ten. It’s funny how, as fans, we yearn for lists such as these, and why DWM polls are so popular and weighted. During my teens, though it somehow feels shameful to say it, my bedroom carpet was full of scrawled-in-biro lists of cliff-hangers, monsters, Big Finish audios, missing episodes, the works. There was always some aspect of the show that could be represented in list format. It’s sad but it’s just this sort of list-making that allowed me to memorise all the Hartnell episode titles chronologically and why I know all the Big Finish Month Range in order from about 1-150 including their respective writers. If I were strapped to a chair and tortured, I could probably eek out of my spectrum-based memory all 240. But the best sort of list was always one that could be changed. A Top Ten Missing Episodes list could change if I happened to listen to the cassette of The Macra Terror for the thirtieth time a week later. (Oh, what a terrific endeavour that was: “Jamie was tossing relentlessly.”) So here, as it suits me today, is the Nu-Who series ranked, from worst to best. In 1998, ranking seasons was so much easier. The best was 14 and the worst was 24. Now, there’s a new playing field to kick seasons (or series rather) around on. As always, please feel free to agree or disagree below!
10

Series 6
During Series 5, fans were thrilled by the fact that a future version of the Doctor from The Big Bang waltzes up in Flesh and Stone, eight episodes earlier, without ceremony, just dropped in. Actually, they shouted an awful lot about how clever and brassy a move it was (ignoring the fact that the dialogue doesn’t really work, The Big Bang being written a good while later). But Steven Moffat got the message: timey-wimey was the order of the day and so Series 6 was based around one giant astronaut-shaped loop… and it doesn’t really work. It’s far less than the sum of its parts, its reach extending far further than its capacity. The Impossible Astronaut, Day of the Moon, The Rebel Flesh, The Almost People, A Good Man Goes to War, Let’s Kill Hitler, parts of Closing Time and finally The Wedding of River Song all form an important part of the overall story of the season, which to be frank, isn’t all that engaging: the Doctor definitely WILL NOT be killed on that beach; we just have to work out how he gets out of it. Which we don’t need to because the solution is spoilered instantly when the Teselecta turns up in the Previously On Doctor Who montage at the beginning of the finale. None of these episodes can be enjoyed in isolation and once their secrets are revealed, there’s nothing much left to thrill at. Stand-alone stories include The Curse of the Black Spot and Night Terrors (both very poor), the overwrought and overwritten Girl Who Waited and the massively over-rated Doctor’s Wife. Series 6’s biggest offence however, is in its casual take on the kidnapping of a baby. Amy and Rory are not shown to give much of a toss. When Night Terrors comes along, they’ve happily forgotten about the loss of their daughter and are having fun with boy George instead. Why they hell they aren’t making demands of the Doctor who has singularly failed to explain why he hasn’t found Melody is beyond me. The Theft of River Song story simply doesn’t ring true. It’s adolescent and ill-considered. The season does have its moments, of course. Day of the Moon’s pre-titles sequence is majestic. Closing Time is understatedly wonderful and The God Complex is amazingly well shot. Which goes to show that even when Doctor Who is overstretching itself, it can still pack a punch. 
9

Series 9
When Steven Moffat announced that the show was going to two-parters, many (myself included) were delighted. Finally, the traditional 4-part structure of yesteryear could make a return! There was the tantalising thought that stories could be edited down to 25-minute instalments and sit happily alongside the classic series. However, what was never considered was that the sluggish pace of some of these stories and the flatness of their direction meant that they wouldn’t hold a torch to the best of the classic series. Steven Moffat opens the season with his version of Genesis of the Daleks, which is boring, drab and lacking in energy, despite some terrific scenes between Julian Bleach and Peter Capaldi. Under the Lake and Before the Flood are perhaps more like what fans had in mind (exciting, traditional bases-under-siege), but then we’re into The Girl Who Died/The Woman Who Lived and The Zygon Invasion/Inversion which sap all the breeziness and froth from the series and make it arduous to get through. Even Face the Raven drags in the middle. Things obviously pick up with Heaven Sent, although after a series of slow, introverted stories, it’s perhaps not the best time to tell this tale of one man’s solitary grief. The spark, the vim, the very essence of the show isn’t there during much of Series 9 and it was a blessed relief to find it back with abundance in Series 10. Even the titles in Series 9 are flat and uninviting. Honestly, The Girl Who Died and The Woman Who Lived?! And who exactly are the Magician’s Apprentice and the Witch’s Familiar? What could be a tantalising fan mystery is met with a disaffected shrug of the shoulders simply because the story it chooses to tell just isn’t very good.
8


Series 4
Series 4 climaxed with Journey’s End, officially the Number One Most Watched Programme of the Week. Well, there’s no accounting for taste. The public tuned in for Time-Flight too. Series 4 marked the apotheosis of David Tennant’s time as the Doctor and was perhaps the best publicly received of all Russell T Davies’s series, perhaps of every series ever.  It’s broad, populist and fun, there can be no doubt. There are also moments of excellence such as Turn Left and The Unicorn and the Wasp. Forest of the Dead too is avant-garde and hugely ambitious. Midnight is a brilliant last-minute addition to the stories on offer this year. But many of the remaining tales suffer. The Doctor’s Daughter is perhaps the 21st century low. Planet of the Ood has a stack of problems. There’s a cynical feeling that Partners in Crime and The Fires of Pompeii are a re-tread of a successful formula which is already out of date. Whilst The Stolen Earth is thrilling in its returning elements, reckless pace, epic scale and nation-changing cliff-hanger, Journey’s End truly disappoints to the point of embarrassment, with Freema Agyeman’s Martha smiling at the camera as she pilots the TARDIS the final twist of the knife. What’s more, there is one big problem at the heart of this season which is truly lauded elsewhere in fandom: Catherine Tate. Sorry, but she’s just not all that good an actress and her and David Tennant make for the least dynamic TARDIS crew since the series’ return. At the climax of Turn Left she’s unbearably screaming her way through scenes. Yes, she can deliver the goods when it comes to the comedy, her mime through the window in Partners in Crime the highlight of the episode but ultimately she’s a very average performer and after the love story with Rose and the unrequited love story with Martha, her narrative journey simply isn’t as interesting. Thank God she brought Bernard Cribbins with her, who is delightful in every scene. Series 4 does have its very high points for sure, but there’s a lot of middling conveyor-built Who here too.
7

Series 7
Definitely a game of two halves is Series 7. The first half, despite its weird title sequences and uneven tonality, is easily the best. The first three scripts really do feel like Doctor Who films, fulfilling this series’ agenda to tell a movie every week. Those opening stories sing and it feels like Doctor Who has got its mojo back. The Power of Three is off-beat but stumbles (for various behind the scenes reasons) at the final hurdle, and The Angels Take Manhattan suffers as an ending for Amy and Rory because it’s not quite sure of its time travelling rules and the emotional pay-off is muddied by the technobabble. Rather than cry with our heroes, we’re busy working out what just happened. But 3 out of 5 sure-fire hits ain’t bad. There’s a lot to like in the second half of the series, with Clara stepping aboard the TARDIS but not all that much to love. The new, sparkly titles with their very solid TARDIS and Matt Smith’s face in the stars are beautiful though! The Bells of Saint John and The Name of the Doctor make for terrific examples of season openers and finales, but in-between, there are half-finished ideas and not-quite-working scripts put through the production machine too early. Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS is a mess, The Rings of Akhaten is repetitive and Nightmare in Silver isn’t sure what story it wants to tell. The Crimson Horror is a stand-out episode although it’s so atypical that by this point in the season it feels like a more regular episode of good Doctor Who would be preferable. Still, the stories have great variety and there’s always something new to look at every week with Series 7. It feels fresher and more dynamic than Series 6 and truly manages to illustrate the breadth of the Doctor Who universe. It also pleasingly starts with a giant Dalek and finishes with a giant TARDIS.
6

Series 5
Matt Smith’s first season proved, it proof were needed, that Doctor Who could survive and indeed be brilliant without David Tennant or Russell T Davies. The Eleventh Hour will forever be the episode to beat in terms of a Doctor’s inaugural adventure. The whole series looks beautiful, its colour palette bold and crisp. It has moments of great beauty, the final ten minutes of Vincent and the Doctor providing something truly special and The Lodger understatedly charming throughout. The Time of Angels and Flesh and Stone represent traditional, action-thriller Doctor Who and doesn’t stop for breath. It’s terrifically well shot to boot. Yes, the series has its shortfalls, the fat Daleks among them. The Beast Below and Victory of the Daleks are doubly disappointing after the great monolith that is The Eleventh Hour. The Hungry Earth and Cold Blood feel compromised and unspectacular due to budgetary issues and to have two low-cost episodes (Amy’s Choice and The Lodger) in the one season, even episodes as good as these two gems, feels uneven. However, we end with The Pandorica Opens (utterly compelling) and The Big Bang, the most original series finale up to that point. It must be mentioned too in any discussion of Series 5 just how magnificent Matt Smith is. Given enormous pressure, he puts in the most creative, charming, mercurial and unpredictable of all his performances. I love this gentler, more innocent take on his Doctor and I wish he’d stuck around for the next two years. This is easily his best performance. Despite a few mis-steps, Series 5 showed the world that Doctor Who was here to stay. Forever.
5

Series 10
Steven Moffat’s last hurrah and quite unexpectedly he starts all over again, with the story of a mysterious university professor who’s been on campus more than 70 years. To be honest, the story of the mysterious professor never really ends, rather it gets forgotten about. But after the sometimes stultifying Series 9, this is so fresh and full of new-found energy and purpose, it’s easy to disregard that fact. And when the series ends with World Enough and Time and The Doctor Falls, it feels churlish and a little foolish to criticise it for not being more about a mysterious professor in a university. Like Series 7, there’s enough stand-alone content here to feel the vast breadth of the series across its episodes. The future is represented as both the utopia of Smile and the dystopia of Oxygen within three episodes. There’s Scottish folklore and Victorians on Mars, the Thames winter frost fair and even Sydney Opera House. In Bill Potts, we have the perfect, wide-eyed (relative) innocent to run through the cosmos with. This is a fun, free-wheeling ride of a series and even if it doesn’t stick quite to the narrative rules of how a season arc ought to progress, it’s all the better for it.
4

Series 3
Easily the best of Russell T Davies’s “story arcs,” the Harold Saxon narrative is weaved with supreme dexterity throughout the series. It provides cliff-hangers to The Lazarus Experiment and 42, becoming an integral part of the overall tale in a way that mentions of Torchwood or vanishing bees simply don’t. The huge cleverness at the heart of the series is the fact that Martha must not recognise the Master as the Prime Minister she’d known from as early as Smith and Jones, so Russell T Davies invents a new Master on Malcassairo – the ever-divine Derek Jacobi – and ties his story into the otherwise unrelated Human Nature via the fob watch. There are so many links in this narrative chain, that the episodes become utterly co-dependent but prove massively enjoyable in their own right (and can thus be watched individually) in a way that Series 6 couldn’t manage later. Last of the Time Lords may be a leap too far for some and to be honest a Gollum Doctor doesn’t sit right with me, but the series makes up for it in those last few minutes of Utopia, in Blink, in Gridlock, in Martha Jones’s mature self-realisation, in Captain Jack’s bravado return, in the Lazarus monster, in the Judoon. There is so much greatness in Series 3, the fact that its finale falls short of expectation, in the end, doesn’t really matter.
3
Series 2
Funny how this series has begun to sink slightly in fan estimation, when it consists of such strong material and was so adoringly received at the time. The run from Tooth and Claw to The Girl in the Fireplace is probably the finest consecutive triplet since the show returned. The Impossible Planet and The Satan Pit form an out-and-out masterpiece. Doomsday is a vividly exciting gut-punch of a finale. The story of the parallel worlds is written across the season beautifully, the loose ends from The Age of Steel tied up by the series’ conclusion. Love & Monsters in its off-beat confidence is a massively underappreciated gem. There are lows of course: The Idiot’s Lantern, Fear Her and (aside from its stonking cliff-hanger) Army of Ghosts are all rather drab affairs. But the highs more than make up for these blips. The Rise of the Cybermen climax is quintessential, edge-of-the-seat Doctor Who, and it’s not even the best the show has to offer. Ultimately, it’s the heart-breaking conclusion to Rose’s story (which should never have been rekindled in Series 4) which lingers in the memory far longer than the closing credits. This is the Doctor Who which people will talk about in generations to come: “Remember the One with the Werewolf and Queen Victoria. Remember the One with the Devil Inside the Planet. Remember the One on the Beach.” “Yes,” they’ll reply. Because they definitely will. 
2
Series 1
No one could have predicted it. No one would have dared to predict it. Russell T Davies, Julie Gardner, Phil Collinson and certainly Mal Young didn’t even come close to predicting it. Doctor Who came back in 2005 to absolute rapture. It was beloved by everyone in an instant and every narrative decision made on that first series was perfect. No Time Lords, Daleks enter half-way through, no Cybermen, no Master, the TARDIS translation circuits, Rose’s footprint in the snow, no alien planets, no “sci-fi” CG effect for the sonic screwdriver. It comes down to the tiny details like that. This is as user-friendly as Doctor Who has ever been. It looks (and often sounds a lot) like Shameless. There is a richness to the scope and colour of the stories (from 1869, through 1984 to 200,100) but a directness of purpose: this is the story of Rose and her encounter with the Doctor, her Lone Ranger. This is a story about the human race in all its forms and its past, present and future brilliance. It’s about steak and chips as much as it’s about the Game Station. Yes, there are some production blunders (the Slitheen costumes, some naff CGI, Noel Clarke) but the show has such a strong idea of what it wants to be that even if the costumiers or the FX boys or even Chris Eccleston (who simultaneously blazes and bombs) don’t, it’s still got Success running through it like rock. This was the return of a legend and the legend, for once, was the truth. 
1
Series 8
Uncelebrated, even unremarked upon, Series 8, for my money, is the most mature and well-written Doctor Who series of all time. The dynamics aboard the TARDIS for once feel like real drama. Just watch the end of Kill the Moon: that interplay between Clara Oswald and the Doctor is perhaps the most real moment – or as real as Doctor Who can possibly be – of drama between any time travellers of the past 55 years. It’s striking how much more genuine Clara seems this year compared to the series before and even the series after. She’s a teacher with a life on Earth which has a fractious, damaging relationship with her life beyond it. The deception at play between her and Danny is at times nail-biting. The great tragedy of the series’ ongoing story is of course that Clara really does love Danny. But she also really loves the adventures. And she simply cannot decide which is more important to her because often in life, we just can’t. The decision is made for Clara when Danny is unexpectedly killed, although even in death he has his own demon to face: the Afghan boy from his army days. Clara does get a chance to say goodbye in the graveyard, a long scene brimming with sadness. But for once in Doctor Who this is not a romantic sadness, or a sci-fi sadness, this is close to despair. As Kate Stewart flies from the presidential plane, the Doctor’s cries signal his own desperation too and his later speech about having “a friend once” is replete with anguish. The finale is doom-laden and tragic and ends with a great gulf of emptiness, not knowing quite what our heroes will do next. Last Christmas forms a vital part of the season (unlike most other Christmas Specials and broadcast only a few weeks later), acting as coda, wrapping up those dangling emotional threads, grieving for Danny and for Gallifrey, bringing the Doctor and Clara back together again. The series also puts out some solid gold stand-alone tales: Mummy on the Orient Express, Into the Dalek, Deep Breath, the massively under-rated and hysterically funny Robot of Sherwood and Time Heist to name but a few. Only In the Forest of the Night lets the series down and that because its very concept is ill-conceived. Yes, trees invade London but where are all the people? It simply doesn’t convince. Still, amongst such dramatic giants, the story feels insignificant and doesn’t detract from a season of such incredible quality. There are some blistering directorial debuts too: Ben Wheatley’s direction on Deep Breath and Into the Dalek is truly cinematic, both using vividly different colour palettes and painting vividly different worlds. He even manages to shoot the Daleks differently. Rachel Talalay provides a superbly shot finale cementing her reputation as the Capaldi Director from here on in. And Peter Capaldi is completely, astonishingly good as the Doctor. Jenna Coleman is completely, astonishingly good as Clara and the cliff-hanger on the steps of Saint Paul’s is as exciting and vital as Doctor Who can ever hope to be. The series may dabble with darker ideas and be a little less family-friendly than others, but for one year only, it didn’t matter. Because Series 8 remains stunning. It is as beautiful a body of work as any HBO series. The Half-Face Man says, "We will find the Promised Land." On this evidence, I think Doctor Who already has.
JH

Sunday, 5 August 2018

The Yorkshire Who-athon and The Stormy Capaldi Survey

Just before Christmas, I went up to Yorkshire to a mate of a mate’s cinema room for a Who-athon. Seven of us chose either a Nu-Who 45-minute episode or two 25-minuters from Classic Who. The playlist was an eclectic one:

DAY OF THE DALEKS – EPISODE 2
DARK WATER

THE REBEL FLESH
THE ALMOST PEOPLE
THE WEB OF FEAR – EPISODE 4
DOCTOR WHO AND THE SILURIANS – EPISODE 1
PLANET OF THE SPIDERS – PART SIX
THE CRUSADE – THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE
INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS – PART THREE
For those eagle-eyed mathematicians out there: No, we didn’t manage to get through everyone’s choices but we at least enjoyed one each! We were gluttonous when it came to Pertwee and suffered a paucity of Tom. And not a single 1980s episode reared its head. Nor, perhaps remarkably a Tennant story. Averaging things out, Tom and David were the favourite Doctors of the group broadly speaking so to have none of their episodes screened was a surprise.
But the thing that struck me the most about this motley rabble of fans was the feeling of doom, the feeling that the end was in sight for the good Doctor, and that the fun of the show had evaporated. All but one person thought of Capaldi’s time as the Doctor as something of a mistake. Daggers were pointed in the direction of Steven Moffat and the idea of casting a female Doctor was a cause of concern for everyone, even those two people who supported the notion. It was quite sad really, to see a group of lifelong fans so negative about the thing they love, about the thing that brought them together. And I think they felt sad too.
Knowing that there was a probability of such an atmosphere, I cheekily decided to hand out a devilish survey. This survey concerned the Capaldi era and fans’ thoughts thereof. The results made for compelling reading. I couldn’t quite believe what fans found to be offensive. After the screening of Dark Water, one fan commented that it was “totally tasteless” whilst another felt “Doctor Who isn’t the place for these things.” I felt like a lunatic, surrounded by people who loved the show, decrying what I thought to be a pretty phenomenal episode with an absolutely riveting climax. Equally, when I derided The Almost People for being the shambolic mess that it is, I was greeted with anti-cries of “It’s not that bad,” and “I never lost interest,” and “It keeps you thinking.” What was going on? Fandom it seemed had turned on the show and its victories were all squarely rooted in the past even when the past was demonstrably dogshit.
Other things I learnt in no particular order: 
·         Watching episodes out of context and in isolated form breathes new life into them. Day of the Daleks Episode 2 had an urgency about it, missing when the programme is digested in one fell sitting. Episode 2 without Episode 1 is still a perfect little vignette of a programme. Invasion of the Dinosaurs 3 has its own little idiosyncrasies, Sarah Jane repeatedly leaving messages for the Doctor before she goes out confined to this episode alone.
·      The Web of Fear is a masterpiece of atmosphere. If only Episode 3 existed, it could be perfect. 
·         Matt Smith’s performance veers wildly, sometimes ending up indulgent and embarrassing, other times hitting notes of absolute beauty. (This is frustrating in the extreme!) 
·         On the basis of four Pertwee instalments: the actor is completely outstanding in every single scene. He is pitch-perfect, hugely charismatic and you cannot take your eyes off him. 
·         The Crusade is sumptuous in every single respect. “And some half-started morning while you speakers lie abed, armies settle everything, giving sweat and sinew, bodies... aye and life itself.” 
·         Watching a 2-parter like The Rebel Flesh/The Almost People essentially back to back can sap the life out of it. Especially when it’s crap.
All told, it was an incredibly interesting day, seeing fan consensus on certain subjects proving fascinating. I really was amid the “Moffat Must Go” brigade. With that in mind, the results below may prove very interesting!
The average age of the survey completer was 46, with the eldest being 66 and the youngest (that’s me, by the way) being 32. All the fans were men but my wife helped bulk out the results afterwards. Whilst she wouldn’t call herself a fan, she’s seen every episode since Eccleston and her opinions did tend to chime with her fellow scribblers. Several other surveys have since come my way via email. 
I asked the question: Are you happy with a female Doctor? The majority answered No, with only one person answering Yes. The best negative answer stated that the fan was “cautiously optimistic.”
When asked to describe the show’s journey over the last ten years, three people independently answered that the series had seen a “slow/spiral of decline."
Finally, it was my mammoth task to collate all the individual story scores. (They were all marked out of 10, although three fans admitted there were several episodes they hadn’t seen and so the averages were adjusted accordingly.)
Several episodes completely divided opinion. Both Death in Heaven and Face the Raven received scores of 10 and 0. Listen and Heaven Sent received scores of 10 and 1. For some, these proved to be the very best and very worst of the Capaldi era! The Woman Who Died and The Husbands of River Song had been watched by the fewest people. Twice Upon a Time had yet to be broadcast and only four people sent results to me on the Christmas special, skewing the average score. 
Below, you’ll see the full chart, from best to worst.
1
WORLD ENOUGH AND TIME
8.11
2
THE DOCTOR FALLS
7.78
3
MUMMY ON THE ORIENT EXPRESS
7.44
4
OXYGEN
6.89

EXTREMIS
6.89
6
DEEP BREATH
6.78
7
THIN ICE
6.67

THE ZYGON INVERSION
6.67
9
INTO THE DALEK
6.56

THE PILOT
6.56
11
KILL THE MOON
6.44

THE RETURN OF DOCTOR MYSTERIO
6.44
13
DEATH IN HEAVEN
6.38
14
THE ZYGON INVASION
6.33

LAST CHRISTMAS
6.33
16
EMPRESS OF MARS
6.22
17
KNOCK KNOCK
6.11
18
SMILE
6.00

THE HUSBANDS OF RIVER SONG
6.00

UNDER THE LAKE
6.00
21
BEFORE THE FLOOD
5.88
22
ROBOT OF SHERWOOD
5.78

DARK WATER
5.78

FLATLINE
5.78

THE EATERS OF LIGHT
5.78
26
HEAVEN SENT
5.75
27
THE PYRAMID AT THE END OF THE WORLD
5.67

FACE THE RAVEN
5.67
29
THE WITCH'S FAMILIAR
5.63
30
THE GIRL WHO LIVED
5.50
31
THE LIE OF THE LAND
5.38
32
THE MAGICIAN'S APPRENTICE
5.33
33
THE WOMAN WHO DIED
5.29
34
TIME HEIST
5.22
35
HELL BENT
5.00
36
LISTEN
4.88
37
THE CARETAKER
4.67
38
TWICE UPON A TIME
4.50
39
SLEEP NO MORE
4.44
40
IN THE FOREST OF THE NIGHT
3.44

As you can see, there is a clear victor and a clear loser. World Enough and Time stands tall as the best of the Capaldi era and In the Forest of the Night perhaps predictably takes last place. What is notable though is the lack of high-scoring tales: only three stories gained an average of more than 7 out of 10. Six out of the Top Ten stories hailed from Capaldi’s third season and one fan commented that his last series had been the “best for 3 or 4 years.” 
So despite the latest bunch of episodes ending on a seemingly universal high, spirits among the group were still low, the general feeling that the show’s heyday was in the past almost tangible in the cinema room. However, Doctor Who is about to undergo a huge regeneration. Everything is about to change. I hope that Chris Chibnall and Jodie Whittaker can breathe fresh life into these fans’ ailing opinions on the show and leave them a little happier than they are at present. I adored the Capaldi era and I hope Whittaker’s can be just as strong. If not, we’ve always got our Special Edition Day of the Daleks DVD to re-watch. Those CG laser bolts really do make all the difference. And some of us can fill in another survey in three years’ time and think wistfully about how much better everything was when Peter Capaldi and Steven Moffat were in charge. Vive la difference! 
JH