There’s a peculiar sub-genre of
Doctor Who to which Kerblam! most
definitely belongs: we’re talking The
Macra Terrors, Paradise Towers
and Gridlocks of this world. Even Big
Finish have got in on the act recently with The
Warehouse, The High Price of Parking
and The Dispossessed. Briefly, these
stories can be identified by a vivid, singular setting, seemingly innocuous and
beholden to a dark secret at its centre (or usually its basement). Here, we’re
presented with the amazon depot in space, policed by helpful robots and staffed
by the few residents of Kandoka lucky enough to have a job. So far, so
familiar. In fact, this might be the most traditional Doctor Who story we’ve
been presented with by the current production regime. It’s a taut script from
newcomer and “out” fanboy Pete McTighe, slick, functional and with a strong eye
for character; it works like clockwork. The robots themselves are a
satisfyingly creepy design, like sinister Postman Pats. They also actually kill people – a healthy dose of
death works wonders for Doctor Who. The villain has understandable yet unhinged
motivations and the story keeps wrong-footing the viewer at every turn. I was
convinced a robot revolution was in the works right up until the last five
minutes wherein the mastermind of the piece is finally revealed. Why then did Kerblam! leave me feeling so cold?
It’s not Jodie Whittaker. She
gives her best performance yet here, far more restrained and in places even
steely. The dialogue is not quite as schizophrenic either, the linearity of the
Doctor’s speeches perhaps aiding Whittaker? Her jokes, however, are still a
source of irritation. She simply doesn’t land them. It’s almost like watching a
comedienne who’s not quite convinced herself that she’s actually funny. There’s
a lack of commitment in the gags which is odd for an actress so utterly
committed to almost every other dramatic beat. All told though, this is Jodie
Whittaker’s Doctor at her best.
Visually, Kerblam! really works. The disparate locations all tesselate
spectacularly to create a rich, believable world. The clever grading on the few
outdoor scenes make for the feeling that even the grass is artificial. The CG
roller coaster conveyor belt sequence is perhaps beyond the realms of the BBC
budget but is still the most viscerally exciting sequence of the episode which
tends towards mood and tension elsewhere. And whilst I might criticise the DNEG
team here for the first time this series (their work elsewhere has been
mesmerising), I must applaud them for that beautiful, beautiful time vortex
through which the TARDIS now spins.
No, what really doesn’t work is the episode’s pacing. This has been a problem elsewhere in the series: the opening sections of The Tsuranga Conundrum and Demons of the Punjab felt a little slow and naval-gazing but here the problem doesn’t lie with the script; it’s in the direction. Scenes which should rocket along fall flat. The Doctor keeps telling us that things are moving too fast and that her brain is struggling to keep up, but actually there’s no rush in her. It’s as if director Jennifer Perrott has gone for the money shots, rather than spending time with the actors, wondering where they’ve come from and where they need to get in any given moment.
To give an example, there’s a scene thirty minutes in when the Doctor and gang have stolen the mobile Kerblam! Version 1.0 and its power cuts out. Jodie says, “Oh, it’s out of juice. Needs a big re-charge before I can access the code.” Any other Doctor would be desperate by now, frustrated, angry even, but here the line’s just spoken slowly. There’s an appalling lack of urgency. The actors are simply not playing into the scenes. To her credit, Julie Hesmondhalgh is the only person who acts as if she might be in a bit of a hurry. (Incidentally, there’s a cutting truth to her quiet admission that she can’t possibly remember all 10,000 workers and simply hadn’t noticed any had gone missing.) Pacing is the problem with much of Kerblam! The slower, moodier scenes work terrifically well, Yaz alone in the darkness of the Triple 9s, the robots between the shelves, is classic Doctor Who but when things get urgent, there’s an apathy in the performances. Tosin Cole drones his way through his lines. One minute I like him, the next he’s flatlined again. Look at the difference between the static, monotone scene at the top of the dispatch chutes and the CG rendered action sequence that follows. If not quite convincing, at least the DNEG boys know how to create some excitement. There needs to be more fire in the bellies of this team TARDIS, more vitality. As it goes, performatively Kerblam! ends up feeling as flat as cardboard. Even Lee Mack’s lost the ability to be funny and for a man working against the clock, he doesn’t half push that trolley slowly.
It’s a shame Kerblam! lacks the energy of its script. This could have been a corker, so traditionally, tangibly Doctor Who is the writing. Perhaps what it really needs is to push those robots forward, have them go on the rampage, and tear their way through the guest cast? There is a well-plotted, truthfully character-driven story here and due kudos to Pete McTighe but perhaps, given the premise, it would have been better to tell a thriller with the sinister Postman Pats instead? The unnerving automata show such promise in those early scenes but the show isn’t about them. It’s about a worker with a grudge. It may be more truthful, more grown-up and supremely well-structured but every child knows Doctor Who is really all about the monsters.
No, what really doesn’t work is the episode’s pacing. This has been a problem elsewhere in the series: the opening sections of The Tsuranga Conundrum and Demons of the Punjab felt a little slow and naval-gazing but here the problem doesn’t lie with the script; it’s in the direction. Scenes which should rocket along fall flat. The Doctor keeps telling us that things are moving too fast and that her brain is struggling to keep up, but actually there’s no rush in her. It’s as if director Jennifer Perrott has gone for the money shots, rather than spending time with the actors, wondering where they’ve come from and where they need to get in any given moment.
To give an example, there’s a scene thirty minutes in when the Doctor and gang have stolen the mobile Kerblam! Version 1.0 and its power cuts out. Jodie says, “Oh, it’s out of juice. Needs a big re-charge before I can access the code.” Any other Doctor would be desperate by now, frustrated, angry even, but here the line’s just spoken slowly. There’s an appalling lack of urgency. The actors are simply not playing into the scenes. To her credit, Julie Hesmondhalgh is the only person who acts as if she might be in a bit of a hurry. (Incidentally, there’s a cutting truth to her quiet admission that she can’t possibly remember all 10,000 workers and simply hadn’t noticed any had gone missing.) Pacing is the problem with much of Kerblam! The slower, moodier scenes work terrifically well, Yaz alone in the darkness of the Triple 9s, the robots between the shelves, is classic Doctor Who but when things get urgent, there’s an apathy in the performances. Tosin Cole drones his way through his lines. One minute I like him, the next he’s flatlined again. Look at the difference between the static, monotone scene at the top of the dispatch chutes and the CG rendered action sequence that follows. If not quite convincing, at least the DNEG boys know how to create some excitement. There needs to be more fire in the bellies of this team TARDIS, more vitality. As it goes, performatively Kerblam! ends up feeling as flat as cardboard. Even Lee Mack’s lost the ability to be funny and for a man working against the clock, he doesn’t half push that trolley slowly.
It’s a shame Kerblam! lacks the energy of its script. This could have been a corker, so traditionally, tangibly Doctor Who is the writing. Perhaps what it really needs is to push those robots forward, have them go on the rampage, and tear their way through the guest cast? There is a well-plotted, truthfully character-driven story here and due kudos to Pete McTighe but perhaps, given the premise, it would have been better to tell a thriller with the sinister Postman Pats instead? The unnerving automata show such promise in those early scenes but the show isn’t about them. It’s about a worker with a grudge. It may be more truthful, more grown-up and supremely well-structured but every child knows Doctor Who is really all about the monsters.
6/10
JH
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